Miss Holmes
by The Zany Giraffe
Summary: Violet Holmes is fourteen and has been dumped in some posh Boarding School by her father, Mycroft. However, life as she knows it will be turned upside down by her first meeting with her uncle. Rated T for possible swearing later.
1. Chapter 1

"Ben, Karen, For the last time, those aren't lightsabers, they're TOILET BRUSHES!" Peter Brockman yelled up the stairs. "Violet, could you go and sort them out please?" With a long suffering sigh that Mr Brockman was supposed to hear, Violet got up from the table, leaving her maths homework and trudging over to Ben and Karen.

Pete Brockman sat down at the now empty kitchen table and looked at the stack of essays he had to mark. With a sigh, he picked the first one up and began reading about exactly what went wrong when the Spanish Armada attacked Britain. Why had he agreed to be Head of History? And also, why had he agreed to be a House Master at Deepdene School for the Academically Gifted?

Oakthorn House was the most dysfunctional of the seventeen boarding houses owned by Deepdene School. Thirty children lived there, the thirty loudest, most questioning and intellectually curious children that were in the school. It had been someone's wonderful idea to pile them all into one house and watch the mayhem that unfolded. So far, the ceiling had fallen down, someone had tried to 'fix the plumbing', thirteen windows had been smashed, along with the streetlamp outside the house.

By now, fourteen-year-old Violet had managed to put the toilet brushes back, and was playing 'The Bear Grylls Game' with Ben, and was losing badly. They were climbing 'Everest', which was also known as the stairs, and Violet was having a very difficult time owing to the fact that Ben had just made the rule that you can only pull yourself up the stairs using your arms.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. From his mildly quiet seat at the table, Pete yelled, "Jake, can you get the door please?" and then went back to marking. Jake, who was sitting in his room attempting to mind his own business, shouted out for Luke to get the door.

"Get the door, Richard," screamed Luke.

"Lissy – door!" yelled Richard.

"Ella, open the door!" screamed Lissy.

"I'm busy, Toby – get the door!" screeched Ella

"It's Tobias! And Kate, you get the door!" Tobias bellowed.

"Harvey- door!" Kate passed on the responsibility, just like everyone else.

"Violet, open the door!" Harvey whined.

"Karen, could you answer the door?" Violet said, as she hung onto the top step for dear life.

Karen made to protest, but everyone just yelled at her. So she went to the door and opened it. Two men stood there. Karen, being Karen, started talking.

"Are you cold callers?" she asked.

"No," said one of the men.

"Do we know you?" Karen questioned.

"Well," began the same man.

"Are we expecting a call from you?" Karen interrupted.

"No," said the man.

"Then you're cold callers," said Karen decidedly, and she promptly shut the door in their face.

A knock was heard at the door again. Karen opened the door again, and seemed genuinely surprised that the same two men were standing there.

"Daddy, the two men won't got away!" she cried.

"Ask them what they want," Pete said from the kitchen.

"What do you want?" Karen repeated.

"We'd like to talk to Violet Holmes, if that's possible," said the same man.

"They want to talk to Violet!" Karen shouted to Pete.

At that exact moment, Violet lost her grip on the stairs and, with a scream, went falling down them backwards.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Violet yelped as she hit each step. Finally, she landed at the bottom in a heap. She looked up, glaring at Ben, who was at the top of the stairs laughing his head off.

Pete came running towards Karen at the door. Ignoring Violet, he turned to the men standing at the door.

"I'm so sorry, I completely forgot you were coming over!" Pete apologised. "Please, come in." Then he looked at Violet. "Get off the floor," he said to her.

The two men entered the rather messy house, and Pete showed them to the living room. It wasn't really a living room, more of a play room that was supposed to be a living room. I was a complete tip, and there was toys everywhere. The two men sat down on the sofa, and Violet entered the room.

"Hello, Violet," said one of the men. "This is your Uncle Sherlock."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Outnumbered or Sherlock characters, unfortunately.**

"Why are you here?" Violet demanded. "The only time you ever show up is when something's gone wrong, and I haven't done anything... people just blame stuff on me! I'm an innocent bystander! I'm an easy target for blame!"

Neither her uncle or her father said anything so Violet continued.

"The whole formaldehyde incident had nothing to do with me! I wasn't even there! Although I did start the re-enactment of the Peasants' Revolt, I had no idea that that was a real sword. Or that Robert would almost end up being hanged for real. But I wasn't part of the compass thing in Maths, and even though the whole class blamed it on me, Mr Jackson having a panic attack wasn't my fault and neither was Louise Bramley's broken leg. It wasn't me that pushed her off the roof of the sports centre." By now, Violet's loud voice had risen in pitch and she was on the verge of going super-sonic, when Mycroft interrupted.

"I'm not here because you're in trouble, although as you've pointed out you've been in your fair share of that," he said coolly.

Violet went very pale.

"No," she said quietly. It was the calm before the storm. "No way. I am NOT going to Grandma Holmes' this Christmas. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS! SHE'S HORRIBLE. SHE HATES ME JUST BECAUSE I ASKED WHY SHE WASN'T DEAD!" A small chuckle came from Sherlock, and Violet's eyes flicked in his direction. Then they narrowed and concentrated themselves on Mycroft.

"If you'd just be a little nicer to her..." Mycroft trailed off.

Violet exploded.

"NICER TO HER? I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN NICER! IT'S HER FAULT. SHE SPENT **THREE HOURS **TUTTING AT ME LIKE A... A TUTTING THING! THEN SHE SAID MY KNEES WERE TOO KNOBBLY AND MADE ME DO SITTING LESSONS! IF I HAVE SUFFERED PERMANENT BRUISING ON MY SHOULDER FROM THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THAT I FELL OFF THAT CHAIR, I'M HOLDING HER RESPONSIBLE!"

Suddenly, the door slammed open and Karen burst into the room.

"Violet," she said, "what's a tosser?"

"You've been watching the Jeremy Kyle Show again, haven't you," Violet answered. "What did we say about watching the Jeremy Kyle Show?"

"We said not to, but what is one?" Karen persisted.

"It's not a very nice name to call someone," explained Violet. "But how about we agree that you don't repeat it?"

"OK," Karen agreed, and then skipped out of the room.

"We don't want a repeat of the school play and the 'c' word," Violet muttered as Karen went.

Then she turned back to Mycroft.

"So if you're not here to shout at me, and you're not here to make me go to Grandma's, why are you here?" she questioned.

"Well, Violet, you're not going to be living here for much longer. I'm taking you out of Deepdene and you'll be staying somewhere under my direction," Mycroft said slowly and carefully.

Violet looked curious.

"Do you even have a house?" she asked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long to write, I had a French Exchange student (who was not as fun as Ottfried, it must be said) and it was pretty hectic, but anyway, I'm back and I don't own anything :(**

**Chapter 3**

Unfortunately, no-one had a chance to answer Violet's question, because at that moment a boy came bursting into the room.

"Violet," he began, breathlessly as he'd just been running.

"I don't want to hear it." Violet said.

"But... but, you have to!" the boy exclaimed, annoyed now.

"No, I don't, Daniel. Especially after you blamed the whole bleach thing on me. I wasn't even there!" Violet started shouting.

"That was ages ago!" Daniel bellowed back.

"That was two weeks ago!" Violet screamed back.

The argument ended there, as a small child skipped into the room, slamming the door open. It wobbled dangerously on its single hinge (the other hinge having fallen off three months previously, in an accident which was, according to Ben, not Ben's fault) not that the little girl noticed.

"What do you want Ella?" Violet sighed.

"I'm in the Class 4 play!" Ella said excitedly.

"Isn't EVERYONE in Class 4 in the Class 4 play?" Violet asked. Ella ignored her.

"Guess what it's about?" Ella said.

"Daniel, any ideas?" Violet asked. Secretly, she knew that it was about electricity, as she'd heard about the Class 4 play, but she didn't have the heart to ruin it for Ella. Daniel's face was blank, and he shrugged.

"It's called _Let There Be Light: The Sparkling Story of Electricity_, if that helps at all," Ella squirmed.

"Ah, so it's about electricity. What are you?" Violet asked.

"I'm a waterbottle!" Ella jumped with happiness.

"That's er... great, Ella. Congratulations," Violet said.

"Yeah, I know. I even get a line!" Ella threw a crumpled sheet of paper at Violet, who missed it. Daniel caught it instead and passed it to her.

Violet scanned the sheet of paper until she found a line highlighted in yellow.

"I am a waterbottle. I do not conduct electricity," Violet read aloud, a hint of laughter in her voice.

"Maybe you should, er, go and practise your line?" Daniel suggested.

"Nah... Me and Tobias are building a shed." Ella skipped out of the room slamming the door with only one hinge on her way out. Violet had seen Tobias's previous attempts at woodwork, and the toaster had never really been the same since.

As soon as Daniel and Violet were sure that Ella was out of earshot, they burst into laughter, completely ignoring the two men that were still sitting on the sofa. About ten minutes later they calmed down a bit.

"Mind you, being a waterbottle is a lot better than my role in our Class 4 play," Violet admitted.

"The Viking one?"

"That's the one. I was a helmet. I didn't get a line."

"Why not?"

"How many helmets do you know that talk?"

"I was a sword, and I had lines."

"Yeah, well Mrs Phillips likes you."

"Swords don't talk either," Daniel insisted.

"You're an idiot," Violet said.

"What?"

"Sorry, I thought we were stating the obvious. Yes, I know swords don't talk, dipstick. The reason you got a line was because Mrs Phillips likes you."

"Oh. By the way, who are the people on the sofa?" Daniel asked.

A loud THUMP interrupted Violet's answer.

"Well that can't be good," Daniel said, worried.

"That's just what I was thinking," Violet answered quietly.

**In case you were interested, I too played a waterbottle in a school play about electricity. That was my line :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't own anything because if I did, this wouldn't be FanFiction, this would just be Fiction. Do authors write FanFiction for their own stuff and post it here? Because that would be awesome. Hmm...**

**Chapter 4**

The loud THUMP was followed by a slightly softer THUMP which came from outside. Daniel and Violet were frozen in what could be called their 'action positions'. Violet looked ready to run upstairs and face what was coming, while Daniel was hiding behind her ready to run the other way. There was a scary silence before the sound of someone running down the stairs.

"Toby's rat's dead! Toby's rat's dead!" sang a voice, before the owner of the voice entered the living room. Daniel came out from his hiding place.

"Actually dead? Like, not faking it? Jelly, this is the best news I've had all day," Violet said, with a deliberate glare at her father who was still sitting on the sofa next to her uncle.

"Yes, actually dead!" Jelly said, excited.

"Really?" Daniel joined in, with mock surprise and a grin spreading over his face.

"That sounded not very surprised, Daniel," Violet said slowly. "No. You didn't."

"Oh God," Jelly added, catching on.

"Right in the middle of Toby's post-mortem phase? That was really smart, Daniel. Really really clever," Violet chipped in.

"Why? Do you think he'll realise that I did it? How did you know?" Daniel was worried now.

"How did I know? You're a crap liar, Daniel. You always twitch when you lie, everyone knows that," Violet answered.

"Since when have I had a lying twitch?"

"Since always. Me and Jelly have a nickname for it and everything."

"How did I not know that I had a lying twitch with a nickname?"

"We never told you about the nickname."

"What is the nickname for my lying twitch?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes I would actually, that's why I asked."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Can you two stop flirting and get on with the evidence destroying?" Jelly cut in.

"We weren't flirting," Daniel said, quickly.

"That's because we all know who Daniel likes..." Violet sang.

"Stop it."

"That's probably what CHARLOTTE said," Jelly added.

"You two are -"

"Does your heart flutter when you hear her name?" Violet interrupted.

"No shut -"

"Charlotte, Charlotte, I LOVE YOU!" Jelly shouted.

"LOOK CAN WE JUST GO AND DESTROY EVIDENCE?" Daniel yelled. The two girls shut up.

"Touchy, or what?" Violet said.

"Looks like we've hit a sensitive subject," Jelly replied. "And, yes, we probably should make sure that there's no rat poison left in Toby's room. It's clear to go in there, he's thrown himself out of the window."

"So that's what the THUMP from upstairs was," said Daniel.

"No, Toby hitting the ground was the softer THUMP that came from outside," Violet corrected. "I saw him falling through the window."

"So what was the THUMP from upstairs?" asked Daniel.

"Oh, that was Ben. He's got his head stuck in a chair and he fell over."


End file.
